If there’s one thing I’ve taken from my journey to parenthood so far, it’s not to ask people when they will be having kids.
Firstly, and most importantly, it’s simply none of your business. Full stop. End of. You are not entitled to the ins and outs of my reproductive decisions.
But in case you need more reasons, let me offer you just a few:
- I may not want kids. Ever. And I shouldn’t have to justify that to you.
- I may desperately want kids, but not be able to conceive.
- I may be a victim of domestic abuse, and afraid to have kids.
- I may want to have kids later in my life.
- I may be pregnant and have chosen not to tell you yet.
- I may have been pregnant and lost my baby.
There are infinite responses. None are wrong, or right, or better than another. Each person…
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Oh Beehave! 
Yes these conversations need to be handled sensitively. But not having the conversations helps maintain taboos like miscarriage and terminations. As someone childless but desperately wanting kids, I’m finding it helps to know about other people’s decision. I’m I the only one going through it. Should I be less obsessed about having kids (probably so). Think depends on who asks. If strangers ask they have to be prepared for question to be completely blocked. I know how upsetting comments can be.
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Yes, you’re so right. I think the bit I struggle with the most is that I don’t mind telling people I have had multiple miscarriages (especially since I seem to regularly get quizzed on why I don’t have kids or when I’m having them), but I feel like other people have a problem with me saying it.
I think we’ve just got to keep putting it out there until people realise it’s such a common thing that happens, and that they don’t have to feel awkward about it.
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